Something that I’ve always quite enjoyed as a consumerist monster from the West is shopping. When I first got to Bombay, I was in heaven. Super-cheap merchandise everywhere! However, I became really weary of shopping really fast and don’t really do much anymore. I started to think why so – after all this used to be a pretty good hobby of mine (well, I was also earning a lot more money before)?
Well, the answer is that shopping’s hard work here.
As a Westerner you are a walking economy. The local shop keepers, street vendors, restaurateurs, beggars, and well, pretty much everyone, sees you as someone they can sell stuff to or at least get some money out of. So whenever you approach a commercial area or stroll through anywhere a little bit “touristic” the selling starts immediately. You are walking on the street, minding your own business, when they spot your white face and all the sudden, little Indian dudes will surround you, haggling you to buy key rings, tops, bracelets, bras, head massage apparatus or tissues for example. Alternatively, the street kids will see you and start begging for a few rupees.
Not feeling like buying or giving away money? You can try two things I find work ok.
One is ignorance, which can be quite efficient. Pretend you don’t see or hear the sales people or beggars around you. However, the sellers might follow you a considerable time and also poke you which is super irritating. The poking thing is especially true for the beggars. They will aim for your legs or feet as touching them is like a submissive honoring thing in India. Trust me, you feel like shit when someone is petting your filthy toes and you cannot give them money*.
The other way is to be more direct. You tell them “no” (“nej” in hindi) outright and do a kind of a swiping hand gesture that blocks the sellers from approaching you. This can be pretty efficient, especially if you address them in hindi. The risk, though, is that once you engage, they will try to start conversing which can go on forever then (“But why, madam, why don’t you want? Very good product, very good. 100 rupees only, good price for you madam…” etc etc).
The two above things work on the street but what if you actually want to buy something? Well, prepare yourself little Westerner because you are in for a treat! Shopping in an actual shop goes like this:
Step up to the door of a shop. A door man will open door, you ignore him totally Indian-style. If it’s a little bit fancier shop, you give your shopping bags to the doorman for a cloakroom because bags aren’t allowed in. If it’s really fancy or a mall, you will go through a metal detector, have your handbag checked and be frisked. Just so you’re not a bomber or something.
Once in the shop, everyone will say to you: “Yes Madam/Sir?”. It’s not a question however, and you can ignore it totally. Then prepare to be intensively followed around. Don’t think the abundance of sales staff will just hover in the background like you’re used to. No, they will stand approx. half a meter behind you and follow your every single move. If you touch anything, they will start the sales spiel STAT. This is really annoying. Sometimes I leave a shop because it gets so irritating having someone just stand attached to your hip staring at you while you try to casually browse things.
If you pick something up, they will start suggesting other pieces. Pick up a t-shirt you like? All the sudden four sales girls are around you with 40 t-shirts. The best is to just go “no” and do the hand-swiping again. I usually say: “I am not buying today” (even if I might be). That dampens their spirits somewhat.
Sometimes shops don’t have much on display but you go sit or stand by a counter and tell what type of thing you’re looking for, and then the staff will pull things from the shelves for you. This can be really fun as they have the craziest clothes in stock. Also some real gems can be found, so just keep asking them to pull more things. Don’t be embarrassed or pressured to buy just because they’ve taken down 85 pair of leggings for you to look at. It’s normal. They probably employ one person whose job it is to just fold everything afterwards again.
First I thought I was so rude and difficult, but all my behavior is emulation of the Indian customers. You just need to be really direct and give specific instructions in the shop to survive. Like “I want to see plain tops (=no crystals, embroidery etc). No, I don’t like these. Don’t show me this type of things. Only V-neck. Only colours x, y and z.” If you’re a girl being serviced by men, don’t try to be too nice or make small talk, they will actually just think you are flirting with them, which is bad.
The street is the other place to shop. There are several “shopping streets” that are lined with hundreds of little stalls that sell clothing, shoes, bags etc. These are way cheaper than shops but you need to bargain a lot. This is really tiring so sometimes I choose to buy in a shop because I can’t be arsed to go through the haggling stage. In case you come to India, this is how you do it though:
Stop at the stall. Lets say it’s a shoe stall. Sales man comes up to you in ecstacy cause they know you are most likely going to be making them an extra buck. Pick out a sandal, tell your size. Sales man will scream to the surely underage helper boy behind the stall who will throw out the requested size shoe from the back. Kick your sandal off. Do not attempt to try the shoe on yourself. Ever. The sales man will kneel and put the sandal on you. Decide if you want to buy or not. If you want it, ask for price. Sales man gives you a crazy price, at least 5 times real value. Pretend shock. Sales man will ask how much you want to pay. Say something ridiculously low, not what you’re really willing to pay to set the tone for the bargaining. Sales man laughs. You shrug shoulders. Sales man gives you a slightly lower price than his original proposition. Pretend shock again and turn around as if to walk away. Sales man panics slightly, and will give you a lower price again. Shake your head and complain it’s too expensive. Sales man asks for your “final price”. Give a slightly higher price than you gave the first time, but not what you would pay really. He will complain its below his cost price and he wont be able to feed his family etc etc.. It’s all bullshit. At this stage the sales man will most likely put the merchandise in a bag and try to give the bag to you stating his price. Do not accept the bag and the price. Instead turn around and start walking again. He will come after you in 2 seconds. Go back to stall, give slightly higher price than before and say that’s your maximum price. He will try to still top it. Don’t accept but turn around again instead. This time you will walk more until they start screaming another offer. This is usually pretty much the actual final price. You could do one more fake walk, but most likely you’re reached the bottom. Give the money and take your bag. Most likely you still paid too much but at least you made them work for it. So congratulations, you just lost 10 minutes of your life and now own a pair of plastic flip flops you paid 1 euro for!
I’ve been asked – while complaining about this – if I find it so tiring, why don’t I just pay the original asking price. Well, cause if I would, I would be considered a total schmuck. Question of pride. Also, sometimes, when I’m in good energy I really enjoy the bargaining and can get the price really low. The sales guys can be pretty funny and occasionally the whole just feels like a game.
*You should not give money to beggars, especially the kids. Majority of them are part of organized gangs or they are sent out by their “pimps” or parents and they do not get to keep the money. It’s an awful, elaborate child labour system that operates on the streets, and you do not want to support it by supplying cash to them. When tourists give money to the street kids, it can also actually keep them from going to school because the kids find it easier to make a living on the street rather than learning how to read or write. I do occasionally give the kiddoes sweets though.
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Awake In India 